Rental Review: Blair Witch

Dear Lord Baby Jesus… why do I get myself into these movies?

Okay, I don't have much to say that's good about this one so I'll keep it as brief as possible.

The original Blair Witch Project was a unicorn: if there is only ever one of them, the nostalgia is endless. Had no sequels been made, a lot of time would have been saved, at least on my part. It's often imitated but never duplicated. It should have lived in the cinema hall of fame, but sadly, sequels have tarnished it's record.

Do you remember the chaos that happened when people thought this was a real story and not a faked documentary? My hair stylist purposefully screwed up my hair in 1998 when he got mad at me for saying that this was a fake story. I'm serious. It's actually the reason I ended up watching this damn movie today - Mama D remembered that as we were flipping through to find something to watch.

Had Blair Witch been made as the second movie, and not the second sequel (try if you must to remember Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows), I think this film would have gotten a better review (from everyone). The little graphics to show the boogy man (whatever you want to call the thing, if it's supposed to be the witch, alright then) would have made 16 year old me probably poop in my JNCOs.

Sadly, it's 2016 and we're still trying to copy a film made with 3 cameras, 3 actors, and a fake story.

Bummer.

The half star is for the person who did the CGI, that person deserves it.

The half star is for the person who did the CGI, that person deserves it.