Movie Reviews

The Cloverfield Paradox Surprise Review, aka Thanks for the Heads Up, JJ Abrams

The Cloverfield Paradox Surprise Review, aka Thanks for the Heads Up, JJ Abrams

I've been less and less involved with the hype behind live tv events in general and I guess it's my own fault for missing the warning signs that The Cloverfield Paradox would be released immediately after the SuperBowl.

BUT I CAN STILL BE GRUMPY ABOUT IT, OKAY? I found out about this being released when I woke up at 4am and couldn't get back to sleep, so I was a little grumpy about actually having something productive to do at that hour. I don't know, I guess I really just need more sleep, that much I DO KNOW.

So what's the best thing to do when you can't sleep? WATCH A MONSTER MOVIE OF COURSE!

#BringBackTheFolk with American Folk

#BringBackTheFolk with American Folk

I finally had a chance to #BringBackTheFolk and check out American Folk, a film by David Heinz, on iTunes the other day.

"When their plane from Los Angeles to New York is grounded on the morning of September 11, 2001, strangers Elliott (Joe Purdy) and Joni (Amber Rubarth) are unexpectedly thrust together amidst the chaos of that historic day. With little in common but both needing to get to NYC urgently, they accept help from Joni's family friend Scottie (Krisha Fairchild) who lends the duo a rusty old 1972 Chevy Van. The shock and stress of 9/11 quickly threatens to derail their cross-country journey until the pair discover what they do have in common: a love for old folk songs."

Constantly Redefining the Ageless Ambiguity in Call Me By Your Name

There are certain times in movies where I will absolutely call a pig a pig when it absolutely presents as one. It's easy to do that sometimes, call things as they are or how they present to be. I thought, for sure, that I would not enjoy Call Me By Your Name because of what it appeared to be on the surface.

The surface lied.

Call Me By Your Name starts almost identically to the trailer posted above. In the summer of 1983, Oliver (Armie Hammer) arrives at Elio's (Timothée Chalamet) family summer home in the Lombardy Region of Northern Italy to help Elio's father with some research work (Yes, I'm biased. It's set in Italy. Of course, I loved the backdrop).

 Credit: Sony Pictures Classics

Credit: Sony Pictures Classics

It's apparent almost immediately that Elio is taken by Oliver. The curiosity. The wonder. The ageless ambiguity. If I could pick a word to describe Call Me By Your Name, it would be "sensuality," and that comes with a warning: I do not find men sexually attractive whatsoever. I chose sensuality because Elio is experiencing things for the first time that he's never felt. Sure, he's a cocky 17-year-old, so he pushes some boundaries, especially with an adult man, but because we see things in Call Me By Your Name from Elio's point of view, it's in an earnest manner. It's in a new-to-him, sensual manner. And we're right there with him, through all of the emotions he experiences.

The characters in Call Me By Your Name keep eclipsing "ageless ambiguity" within the sculptures they study. How these statues represent the perfect male form, frozen in time. That's basically the point of ageless ambiguity: They define what it is in sculpture. They redefine it in their life in their current surroundings. Time passes and the search begins again. The wonderful thing about ageless ambiguity is some people can see it as a loving tale of youth, and others can see it as absurb, disgusting, immoral.

Yes, it is a little risque, especially right now, for a romantic storyline between an adult and a 17-year-old. Given everything that's going on in Hollywood right now, I can understand the stance that some, quick-to-assume critics take after watching this. If you haven't lived it, it can't resonate. But for some of us that lived similar stories, it hits home.

One of the most emotional scenes in this film isn't even between Elio and Oliver. It's between Elio and his father, portrayed by Michael Stuhlbarg. I don't want to give away the details in this sequence because, to me, they were very important to the story. However, I will say this: The easiest thing a person can do is be honest with themselves and most of us make it very difficult for that to ever happen. We lie to ourselves because it's easier to handle in the long run. You don't want to be different, you want to be just like everyone else. So, you follow the leader and play along. But are you really happy? Who knows.

Honestly, if you don't have any kind of emotional response while watching Call Me By Your Name, you don't have a heart. If you can't feel anything after watching this, you should really take a look at your life and figure out where you went wrong.

I love the multiple language fluencies throughout the film. First, we start in French. Then, switch to English. Then to Italian. Then, back to English. Then German. It's enough to make your head spin but it's handled with class and not elitism.

Armie Hammer constantly surprises me. I really dug him playing both Winklevoss (Winklevii?) twins in The Social Network, but even Lohan can pull that kind of thing off these days. No, Armie Hammer digs in his heels as Oliver. He commits to the ridiculous dance moves in all his dad-bod glory (I don't know if he has what's considered a Dad-Bod or not, but he's the older male in this pairing, so work with me here). I guess what I'm saying is I don't think Hollywood has given him a fair shake as of yet, and more casting directors should just sit their happy asses down and watch Call Me By Your Name before choosing their next leading man.

 Credit: Sony Pictures Classics

Credit: Sony Pictures Classics

Timothée Chalamet. Bro. What can I even say about this dude? He's apparently related to everyone and has been in a ton of recent films. Watch this actor, he'll show you why.

The cinematography choices that are made in Call Me By Your Name are done deliberately with an artful hand. The filmmaker in me usually rips on out of focus camera shots, however here it works. I also truly enjoy the long, no-cut, shots that seem to go on forever. I think long shots like those show actors true capabilities. So many rely on cuts, close-ups, and reactionary shots to help their dialogue. Here, the silence can be deafening.

Speaking of sound, get yourself into the music of Call Me By Your Name, especially Visions of Gideon by Sufjan Stevens. You will not regret it.

I firmly believe that this year, like most years, the Oscars nominating committee didn't pay enough attention to everything that was in contention. Luca Guadagnino was absolutely robbed of a nomination. The conceptualized idea that Call Me By Your Name will be the first in an installment of a Before Sunrise-like decades-long series blows my mind. It also truly terrifies me because, quite obviously, Call Me By Your Name is set in 1983, and history tells us that the 80's and 90's (along with many other decades) weren't particularly easy for out or closeted gay men.

I guess that's the funny things about having a connection to a film like this: You immediately want to protect the characters as if they were real people.

Nature has cunning ways of finding our weakest spot.
— Mr. Perlman

Do yourself a favor, go and see Call Me By Your Name while it's in theaters: you owe it to yourself and to the story to watch this film without interruptions. If that's not possible, preorder Call Me By Your Name today!

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The Punishment Finally Ends! Maze Runner: The Death Cure

I've given this movie series a lot of shit over the past 4 years and I fully admit that. First, my glowing review of The Maze Runner. Then, my even more enraged review of Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials.

And now here we are. Once again.

With me literally falling asleep for 10-ish minutes in the theater during this tie-it-up-with-a-bow nonsense.


I swear to all things holy, if they continue on this series and make films from the subsequent two novels that appear in the written series, I will flat out refuse to see them. I cannot do this to my eyes again. It's like splashing acid in them even though you know it will burn!

Once a-freaking-gain, Thomas and his rag-tag group need to out-wit the adults. Only this time, so much time has passed from an on-set accident that nearly killed the star of the movie, that our young adults are now in their early 30's... at least they look that way to me.

Apart from not being in the maze anymore, the only thing that really separates this movie from the rest is the gritty vibe they've got going on. It's like they threw this movie in the washing machine with Max Max: Fury Road or something.

It definitely seemed like Dylan O'Brien was over this movie.

And he's just like me in that respect. I'm happy I won't have to ever watch these damn movies again!

Preorder Maze Runner: The Death Cure on iTunes today!

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Review: Please Stand By

As if I needed another reason to like Dakota Fanning's ridiculous range, Please Stand By comes along.

I know, I know. Typically this is where I would spout off about how a non-spectrum person is portraying someone on the spectrum. But this, like a lot of recent works, is respectful of the situations a person on the spectrum finds themselves in.

"Please Stand By" is not only the title of the film, but also the phrase that Wendy (Fanning) uses to deescalate when she gets stressed out. 

 Credit: Magnolia Pictures

Credit: Magnolia Pictures

Wendy is living in an assisted living home with others like her after her sister gives birth to a child. Her sister is unsure if she can feel comfortable with her sister being around her new daughter, which builds a small amount of animosity between the two.

Wendy is working on a Star Trek script that she hopes to submit to a scriptwriting contest. After finding out that she would not be going to live with her sister, Wendy hops on a bus to get across the country to submit her script.

 Credit: Magnolia Pictures

Credit: Magnolia Pictures

There are a lot of things to point out about this film, but honestly, just please watch this film when you rent it. Don't just put it on and stare at your phone. Watch the movie.

You'll get it.

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Lady Bird is Selfish But She Sees

I got a chance to check out Lady Bird using my MoviePass membership and I'm super glad I have that thing because I will definitely be seeing this one a few more times in the theaters!

Lady Bird has one of the funniest opening scenes to a film that I have watched in a really long time. Christine "Lady Bird" McPherson (Saoirse Ronan) is a senior in high school in 2002-2003 and she is trying to really figure out life. She's trying to be a normal girl after 9/11, but at the same time, figure out who she really is and where she belongs.

 Credit: A24

Credit: A24

Most of the time, tired tropes like that are full of baseless jokes just to cash in at the box office.

Praise be to Greta Gerwig for finally giving us a high school dramedy that gives the characters actual growth as people and not just circling the drain. I feel like I owe her a hug for getting my attention and writing something I could relate to.

Laurie Metcalf and Tracy Letts star as Lady Bird's mom and dad, with the focus is really on Lady Bird's relationship with her mother. Her mother wants the best for her but she always tells her the truth, even if it hurts. As a daughter, that takes a toll on your self-esteem and I say this as a woman whose mother appeared to be as flawless as The Devil Wears Prada, until you peel back the layers.

At the same time, Lady Bird's dad struggles with depression and ultimately is downsized. The coincidental thing here is in 2002, my father was also downsized from his engineering job and was then diagnosed with Diabetes, both requiring a major lifestyle change.

 Credit: A24

Credit: A24

Maybe that's why I get this movie so well: I have had a rough relationship with a mother who loved me and supported me even if it hurt. In my case, I had to have a lot of issues with my sexuality even though my parents were ultimately supportive, just because I didn't want to let them down by not being their mirror image.

Lady Bird tries out for the school play, meets a boy, falls for the boy, finds out the boy is gay, moves on, meets another boy, ditches her longtime BFF (Beanie Feldstein) to appear cool, and changes everything about herself all in the span of 94 minutes. This seems like a lot but it's handled carefully as not to make her look as awful as learning about oneself appears from the outside.

 Credit: A24

Credit: A24

The resolution includes Lady Bird never losing her faith in her religion. Sometimes, I wish that were true for me, but it's not. I left the Catholic church a long, long time ago. And, while I leave room open to join it again someday, the people, that tell me I don't belong because I am a married lesbian, are what keep me away. 

Lois Smith plays Sister Sarah, and she invokes some serious Aunt Meg vibes for me. I think that's probably why I didn't immediately have fear of her character like I do with most women who are Nuns (Catholic school wasn't so great for me). And, she just had to deliver the "6 inches for the Holy Spirit" line during a school dance, which makes it that much better.

I don't know who Beanie Feldstein is because she hasn't really been on my radar yet, but I adore her style. She has this look about her when her character is hurt and it physically makes my heart break into shards. I have a feeling she could get typecast in the future but I hope she pulls through it.

Looking back, knowing what I know about people like this (myself included), the easiest way to explain this movie is to say that they all probably grew up to be hipsters. The difference is that while Lady Bird is a selfish person, she sees people for who they are, even if it takes some time. She's not a horrible person, she's not a great person. She's just a person.

High five, Greta Gerwig. You are officially added to the "Directors I'd Love to Work With " list!

Review: Goodbye Christopher Robin

Want to destroy your childhood? Watch this damn movie.

No, really. This movie will destroy the very idea of childhood wonder for you in less than two hours.

The movie begins with the introduction of the writer A.A. Milne (Domhnall Gleeson), of Winne the Pooh fame. This film starts off before any of that. Oh no, this film starts off with a somewhat broken man returning home from World War I to a very distant woman (Margo Robbie as Daphne Milne).

I guess I can understand the reasoning for the psychology movement as a whole after scenarios as this one has been portrayed in this manner. Yes, this is before PTSD was considered a disease. But still. I get it.

Daphne (Robbie) decides to have a child to bring her husband around. Because, you know, apparently that's what this generation though children would do: fix their marriages.

The family eventually moves out of London's West End and into Sussex, which looks like it was ripped from the pages of storybooks.

 Credit: Fox Searchlight

Credit: Fox Searchlight


Anyway, Daphne gets frustrated and goes away for a few days at the same time the nanny needs to tend to her sick mother. AA Milne and his son, Christopher Robin Milne, YES REALLY, are alone for the first time together.

Dinners are burned, arguments are worked through, and the father and son come to a sort of fun-understanding with one another.

Then, A.A. Milne needs to go and ruin it by turning their play time into a story, naming one of the lead characters after his own son, and then thrusting him into the spotlight.

See what I mean? Therapy movement: I GET IT NOW!

 Credit: Fox Searchlight

Credit: Fox Searchlight

Will Tilston is an emotive little man as the younger Christopher Robin, let me tell you. Sheesh, he had me in awe and daydreaming one moment and then terrified at a crowd the next! Like, this kid is going places for freaking sure!

The direction that Simon Curtis went in feels like he though out the exact moments of when your heart would shatter.

I will say I have a general comment that is giving me the impression I need to be concerned about Domhnall Gleeson's ever-growing repertoire of being a male character who is basically turning into a eunuch. The man has really never played a smoldering love interest and I'm curious if that's his doing or if he's being typecast. Like, it's cool to be a Tom Hanks type, if that's what you're going for, yanno?

I do have to say, I appreciate Margot Robbie's attempt at a British accent. She has a lot of the right vowels in the right places but, and I love this about her, she appears to have added in sort of an Audrey Hepburn kind of breath about her. I really dig it and yes, I freaking know that Audrey Hepburn isn't British. I mean that Trans-Atlantic vibe she's going with.

I don't have anything bad to say about this movie. I thought the acting was great on everyone's parts; special shout-out to Alex Lawther for once again, coming into a project and getting little screen time, as the older Christopher Robin, but knowing exactly how to get a job done.

Either way, check it out today!

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I Wish I Had a Crew Like Girls Trip!

You know when you watch a movie and you feel like a member of the group that the movie is about? THAT'S WHAT GIRLS TRIP IS Y'ALL!

Girls Trip is basically the better parts of The Hangover, with funnier comics, and more relatable material. For me anyway, I don't know about the rest of you :)

You really cannot go wrong with Jada Pinkett Smith and Queen Latifah. But when you add in Regina Hall AND Tiffany Haddish, it's bound to make my stomach hurt from laughing so hard. AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT DID!

When the ladies all get together and head to Atlanta for the Essence Festival, the real party begins. This movie is all 90's throwbacks and jokes I actually understand, I love it!

 Credit: Universal

Credit: Universal

My wife has a coworker who suggested we watch this movie with the express line that "Samantha will love it."


I think the only serious takeaway from this movie is the real admission that I wish I had a crew of friends like this. But I don't.

So I'll just keep watching movies :)

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Double Feature: Studio Movie Grill VIP Night and Murder On the Orient Express

I was invited to attend the Studio Movie Grill VIP Night in Seminole, Florida last night and I have to tell you, I had an absolute blast.

Check out my photoset on the Studio Movie Grill VIP Night on my photography portfolio.

I am really looking forward to spending some time in this new restaurant/theater combo. We were given a tour through the kitchen and it seemed well staffed. For an opening night, they did an awesome job with the food.

The waitstaff definitely had a much harder time covering their backs as far as their nervousness goes. As we were ordering drinks, a waiter dropped a very large tray of champagne glasses. Luckily, they were plastic. Also, luckily, my camera didn't get soaked in champagne.

There are first night jitters for everyone. I think I have done similar things in similar situations when there wasn't a gigantic movie theater attached to the restaurant I was working in. So, it is what it is.

Let's talk about this movie theater, by the way. The seats are set up in a way that a pivotable tray can be swung in or away from the patron. On the tray are a cup holder and a shiny red button, that I had to press several times because, yes, if you must know. I AM a very tall child (well, not very tall but you get where I'm going with this).

The button tells the server you need something or that you are ready to order, so as not to disturb the other movie watchers around you. GENIUS!

LET'S TALK ABOUT THE FOOD Now listen, I love movie theater popcorn, candy, and soda as much as the next person. But holy hell, I'm not 16 anymore and this shit is starting to hurt my teeth!

What we ordered:

  • Starter: potato skins
  • My Meal: Classic American Burger (because it's hard to screw up a burger and the thing looked AMAZING in the press photos)
    • Choice of protein. American Cheese, Lettuce, Tomatoes, Sweet Red Onions Served with French Fries. (I still don't like onions or cheese so those came off my order)
  • My Wifes Meal: Macaroni + Cheese
    • Three-cheese Cream Sauce, Cavatappi Pasta, Bacon, Green Onions. Served with Toasted Sourdough Bread.

I cannot complain about either of our meals. The one "complaint" we have is the waitress either didn't submit the potato skins order or gave them to another group of diners. It was not on our bill so we did not complain about not getting them. But it would have been nice to try them out.

I will certainly be back to SMG Seminole.

I have been a member of the "Kenneth Branagh Can Do No Wrong" club since Joe Bruton got my attention in 11th grade Lit class by telling me that Branagh's Hamlet was better than Mel Gibson's Hamlet.

"BULLSHIT!" I believe I yelled out in the middle of class. (Side note, yes, this is the same teacher that told me I was the spawn of Satan and that I was a pushy broad - all teaching styles that would get him fired and would not have created a writer like myself... sooooo oh well)

So listen, just because he was right doesn't mean anything.


Moving on.

Murder On the Orient Express is a clever remake that literally, somehow, got me to forget the twist in the story. I've read so much Agatha Christie over the years and I used to watch the original film with my grandmother.

You guys, I loved the original. It would end up on one of the older movie channels and I would sit there on the floor, eating sauce and bread like a good Italian child after school. I'd watch Lauren freaking Becall and Ingrid Bergman. Sean Connery. And Albert Finney was the Detective.

It was awesome.

So I really need to understand how I forgot who was guilty of the Whodunit mystery in Murder On the Orient Express!

Either way, it was an expertly made remake. I loved the nuances of the characters and how closely (or, not so closely, in some cases) the new actors followed suit to the original.

Branagh shines as a director and actor, once again. And I guess I how Mr. Bruton another $5 wherever he is hahaha.

Preorder your copy of Murder On the Orient Express today!

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Review: Heartland

I hadn't heard too many things about Heartland, starring Laura Spencer, Velinda Godfrey and Beth Grant. Heartland tugs at the heartstrings while proving that it's best not to reinvent the wheel. And sometimes, that's okay.

Disclaimer: I was not paid to post this review. I rented Heartland from iTunes in order to complete my review.

Right off the bat, we meet Lauren (Velinda Godfrey) as she watches her girlfriend Nicole die of cancer. She returns home to find an eviction notice and the locks have been changed. Feeling desperate, she returns to her mothers house in Oklahoma.

We find out pretty quickly that Lauren's mother, Crystal (Beth Grant), is mildly homophobic. Or delusional. Crystal is a widow but she doesn't exactly recognize Lauren's grief as anything similar to her own. This would normally be a time for bonding between mother and daughter, but there is a wall between them.

We then meet Justin (Aaron Leddick), Lauren's brother, and his girlfriend, Carrie (Laura Spencer) Justin works for Carrie's father in the wine business and develops a local vineyard to work with their brand.

Carrie and Lauren don't really have a flirty moment, in my opinion, until midway through the movie. They act like any potential sister-in-law would act.

Check out Heartland on itunes today!

Ultimately Lauren and Carrie seek comfort in one another and the shit hits the fan in the family after that. The fight scenes are well produced and give you a level of agitation that makes you want to stand up for Lauren, even though she's in the wrong (she is, no matter how you want to paint it).

Velinda Godfrey not only stars in this film, she co-wrote it. That takes a lot (trust me, I know) and it's very impressive. She's going to be a hell of a force given the right representation.

Laura Spencer is someone to look out for. While she's taken longer roles on television series (Bones, Big Bang Theory, etc), she shows a somewhat interesting introspective. I'm certainly keeping an eye on her and not just because I can't resist a redhead.

This is great film but I want to remind everyone that it is not a lesbian romance movie: It's a movie about loss, grief, and how one deals with it.

That being said, I loved it.

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Review: It (2017)

Before everyone gets their undies in a bunch, this isn't going to be a review that draws a comparison between It and It. It's just not it. 

Okay, puns aside, let's talk about the evil frigging clown.




I hate clowns, and that's partly (totally) all Tim Curry's fault. Tim Curry was The Grand Wizard in 1986's The Worst Witch (Yes, that's the movie that rendered it impossible for me to not give a death glare to the entire Harry Potter series). THE NEXT THING I KNOW, he's a frigging killer clown. I mean... sonofabitch! I can't catch a break!

I think that's probably what makes the It remake so great - Bill Skarsgård.

Homeboy, let's talk. Because you seem like a wicked normal, sweet, chill-looking dude. You'd be a bro I'd hang out with by a campfire or something.




For real, the makeup for Pennywise was done by some expert people, helmed by Sarah Craig who is a BADASS and did some seriously amazing things in the Dawn of the Dead remake.

The storyline is as similar as one can get to a miniseries. There's the Losers Club and the evil clown.


There are so many jokes thrown in to lighten the mood, and it's actually very necessary. I have been dying for the past several years for a scary movie. Like, I want to be scared and not know what's going to happen next because of lazy writing. I've wanted to feel that vibe you get when you leave the theater after a wicked scary movie and you feel like you're being watched (Just me? Well, whatever).

This movie irked the absolute bejesus out of me. I haven't been that rattled in a long time and it's the absolute best thing ever to go into Halloween season with a boss ass horror movie like that.


And get this: Apparently, there was a whole sequence that was an origin story for Pennywise. And that might be something that Bill Skarsgård says might be in Chapter 2. He sat down with Variety's Playback Podcast, so check that out here

There was a scene we shot that was a flashback from the 1600s, before Pennywise [was Pennywise]. The scene turned out really, really disturbing. And I’m not the clown. I look more like myself. It’s very disturbing, and sort of a backstory for what It is, or where Pennywise came from. That might be something worth exploring in the second one. The idea is the ‘It’ entity was dormant for thousands and thousands of years. The [flashback] scene hints on that.
— Bill Skarsgård
I'm really not blowing smoke here. This was SUCH a great remake. I honestly pooped my pants loved it. That being said, I give the It remake the end all be all the best standing ovation in recent history:

What did you think? Let me know in the comments!

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Review: The Show

You know when you're searching for something to watch and you click on a trailer for a random movie you've never heard of? Let me give you a tip: FINISH. THE DAMN. TRAILER.

I wasn't really aware of the film I was getting myself into, but this week I checked out The Show.

Directed and Produced by Giancarlo Esposito, The Show (originally titled This Is Your Death - the name of the show within the movie), starts off in a Bachelor-esque shoot. A dude picks from two wedding-dress-clad women, then all hell breaks loose as one of the brides-to-be decides to shoot the groom and turn the gun on her competitor. All of this unfolds while Adam Rogers (Josh Duhamel) observes and reacts, ultimately saving the life of the bride-to-be that was selected while the gun-welding bride commits suicide.

Then, as anyone who's ever worked in television knows, the press tour begins. But what happens during the press tour is loses his shit. An idea is born to broadcast the suicides of people to try and help them get a better outcome.

At the same time, the harrowing story of Mason (played by Giancarlo Esposito) is unfolding. He loses a job, he's in trouble of losing a house, and his wife tells them that if he does lose the house, he loses the whole family. All of this is unpacked until you see the desperation his character takes by signing up for the auditions for This is Your Death.

This movie ended up being one I couldn't get through all at once. You all know, at least you should by now, of my history with mental illness. Depression and feeling like there's one last resort are things I can totally empathize with. I just saw the show within the movie for what it was in the beginning: cash cow way to mess with people not truly understanding the actual outcome.

I did have a good, hearty belly laugh 45 minutes into the film when the director of the show says to the producer, "Is this fella ever going to follow the script?"

Spoiler Alert: TALENT NEVER FOLLOWS THE DAMN SCRIPT! It's like a rule for on-camera folks or something. Like, "Oh, this producer spent so many hours researching and working on this story for me. I MUST know better than them. I'm going to change it."


All in all, the movie isn't horrible. It's pretty well written, the actors are putting in work, it flows.


I need you guys to understand that this is one of the most fucked up ideas I have ever seen brought to life in a film. I honestly have nightmares of reality tv turning into what this movie shows. It makes me sick to my stomach.

But that's the point. Esposito has been and is still the man. He sat down with The Frame to explain why he decided to work on this project:


I will be called on the carpet for making a political statement, a human statement. And maybe being insensitive to certain parts of our society of human beings who, like me, felt like there was no other way to go and I have to get out of this life. Not understanding within that moment that life is precious. I know now if I go all the way down and have nothing I will be in service in whatever way I can to other human beings because that’s the juice. It’s not the bank account. It’s not my notoriety. It’s not the glory. I realize that it is to fulfill our earthly obligation and to do it in a way that puts a smile on our face. That is truly the way to live life.
— Giancarlo Esposito

And that's why Giancarlo Esposito and everyone involved in making The Show get the following rating from me:


Check outThe Show on iTunes today!

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Review: Vincent N Roxxy

Review: Vincent N Roxxy

So, I finally got power back on after Hurricane Irma (#IrmaGerd, #IrmaGeddon, whatever) and decided to play spin the iTunes and review something random that I've been meaning to get to.

I ended up watching Vincent N Roxxy, and it's a swing and a miss if there ever were a swing and miss with a film.

Netflix Binge: What Happened to Monday

I've now officially gotten into the habit of not watching any new that Netflix puts out because, good lord, it never seems to suck.

Well, sometimes it sucks but What Happened to Monday is CERTAINLY NOT THE CASE HERE!

In a not so distant future, where overpopulation and famine have forced governments to undertake a drastic "One Child Policy," seven identical sisters live a hide-and-seek existence pursued by the Child Allocation Bureau. The Bureau, directed by the fierce Nicolette Cayman (Glenn Close), enforces a strict family-planning agenda that the sisters outwit by taking turns assuming the identity of one person: Karen Settman (Noomi Rapace). Taught by their grandfather (Willem Dafoe) who raised and named them - Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday - each can go outside once a week as their common identity, but are only free to be themselves in the prison of their own apartment. That is until, one day, Monday does not come home…

So now that I've told you all of that information, you already have way more background than I did before I watched this.

And I wasn't let down. Damn, Netflix! Way to pick 'em!

I'll admit, at first I was a little snarky about this film.

But you guys, this was amazing. What Happened to Monday starts off by the audience learning that there is a massive overpopulation problem plaguing the world. The government allows the Child Allocation Bureau to institute a "One-Child Policy." The Bureau is fronted by Nicolette Cayman (Glenn Close), who in this role looks a little bit like a Stepford Wife. Quietly, a grandfather (Willem Defoe) raises his identical septuplet grandaughters, each named for a day of the week. The girls are only allowed outside on the day they are named for, they and they must take on the role of Karen Settman and portray her as one single entity. Everything seems to be going fine until Monday doesn't come back, then all hell breaks loose.


There's a lot about this that echoes Orphan Black. But, pretty much any show or movie where there is a clone/twin scenario, is going to kinda feel like Orphan Black for a while (and that's a compliment to the team that created Orphan Black).

I promise you, I wouldn't steer you wrong with this on purpose. If you hated it, let me know in the comments. But I gave it the following rating: 

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Gifted, or "Hey look, I got drunk in (what's supposed to be) that bar!"

I was able to reorganize my morning yesterday so I could stop in to see Gifted before work with my MoviePass account and man, talk about a Tampa Bay overload!

I don't think there's anything worse than having to enjoy the best parts of the bay from behind a computer screen... oh wait, yes there is.

IT'S FILMING IT IN ANOTHER STATE AND TRYING TO PASS IT OFF LIKE IT'S PINELLAS COUNTY. This is one of the poorest substitutes for what's supposed to be Tampa Bay that I have ever seen in my life. A movie that tried to pass off a fake Tampa hasn't bombed this badly since Live by Night!

Holy crap. I wanted to like this, I really, really did. I promise I did. I want Chris Evans to be leading man for this but he's just not. I wanted to enjoy the family story in this.

And I definately wanted to fall in love with the sunsets that are the reason I moved here.

But this movie is a straight up fraud.

The only thing that kept my interest was the ever glowing Miss Octavia Spencer, Jenny Slate ended up being somewhat of an afterthought for me as far as this movie goes. Lindsay Duncan  seethes almost enough to remind me of Meryl Streep in the Devil Wears Prada

I wanted to like it. The kid was cute. The guy was semi-good looking (not my type, but yanno). The villain was downright scary!

But it fell flat and it sucks.

 Thanks to my  MoviePass , I didn't have to waste any extra money on this lousy film! WOOT WOOT!

Thanks to my MoviePass, I didn't have to waste any extra money on this lousy film! WOOT WOOT!